4 Signs a City Isn’t Right for You

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I am very blessed that my family and I are living in a place that has always felt like home to me. I love it here, the kids are thriving and I’m considerably under less stress when it comes to getting around. This wasn’t always the case for us. For over 15 years, my family and I lived in a metro city where I spent a lot of time thinking of getting away. We lived there because of work opportunities but in my heart, I felt that all the efforts were in vain. I wasn’t happy. And more than anything, there weren’t plenty of opportunities for the kids to enjoy their childhood.

After much thought and due to medical and personal reasons, I dropped everything and dragged my family across the country to move back home. To this day, I still think that it was one of the best decisions that I made for the kids and for my health.

If you are on the fence about growing roots in the city that you are living in right now, here are 4 signs a city isn’t right for you. Hopefully this will help you decide about your future.

1. It sucks the energy out of you.

I’m talking about spending more time on the commute than with your family. Getting out of bed way ahead than your work schedule because you know traffic will be bad. It also means coming home drained of energy that you have nothing left to enjoy the company of your loved ones.

This was exactly our situation before we moved. Waking at the crack of dawn because you need to bring the kids to school before heading for work. Not to mention the terrible commute because everybody seems to be heading somewhere. Then you have to leave the office in a hurry because you have to pick the kids up from school and then face the terrible traffic in going home.

This daily routine left me exhausted every single day. I believe that there should be more to life than chasing cabs and buses.

2. The culture doesn’t sit well with you.

When you live in a metro city, you have no neighbors. Even if you live in a congested area with a heavy population, it seems like you don’t have any. Everybody is busy living their lives. We lived in a compound that had 6 units including our apartment and in our many years of living there, I never knew our neighbors. You do your thing and they will do theirs. Not a care in the world.

This is the exact opposite of what I was used to growing up. I mean, I am not the type of person who would frequent other people’s houses but here we watch out for each other. More than the pleasantries, you know that should something happen, you can ask for their help. This was something that I hardly experienced living in the metro.

I also didn’t like the fact that the kids were stuck indoors because it wasn’t safe for them to play outside. We lived right smack in the middle of a busy neighborhood and definitely not a safe space for the kids. We also couldn’t let them play with the kids outside because we don’t know them.

It felt like we had no other choice but to opt for safety over letting our kids enjoy being kids. I mean, they played inside the house but I wanted them to experience what I experienced growing up – play with cousins, run around the neighborhood, and just letting them enjoy their childhood without me worrying about them being hurt or worse, kidnapped.

3. You’re upset most of the time

This can mean being upset over the long lines at the supermarket, the heavy foot traffic, the terrible road traffic, the vibe, and even doing the most menial job like paying bills and bank errands sets your mood off. This is a great indicator of a very low happiness level.

Before we moved, anything that required me to step out of the house upset me. I would prefer to stay at home all the time if I could. It even came to a point where I dreaded going to work because I was just mentally and emotionally exhausted. Nothing made me happy anymore. Not even the thought of earning money. This was one of the main reasons why I decided that the city wasn’t meant for me.

4. Absence of joy in doing the things that you used to love

When you lose interest in pursuing your passion, when building relationships take a back seat to prioritize work, when you can think of more reason for you not to get up from the bed, and when everything feels like surviving instead of living. Although we all go through these phases from time to time, being stuck in the same emotional cycle is not good. Something needs to change.

I experienced all these and more before we moved. I was struggling mentally and my physical health took a turn for the worst. More than anything, I was almost always never happy. If not for my family, it would have been pointless to get up every day.

After much thought and prayers, I decided that the cons outweighed the pros by thousands. And so we moved.

If you are stuck in this situation, pay attention to your surroundings, listen to your heart, and trust your gut feel. I pray that you find the courage to make that change.

Start by planning your move. Prepare financially, mentally, and emotionally. Being prepared will help avoid loopholes and will make the transition smoother. This is very important and more so if there are children involved. You will need to check out schools in advance, find a job in the new place if you wish to continue working.

Another very important thing that you need to take care of is finding a new place to stay. Whether you will be renting or purchasing a property, make sure to plan and set things in motion long before the move. Check local listings for properties within your budget. One example is Calgary Homes for Sale but I’m sure you will find many others that are local to you. Also, if you can swing it, book a trip to view property before closing the deal.

I was blessed to have family members who took care of this for us while we were still in the metro. They were able to find a rental that was close to family and within our budget. Although there were hiccups along the way, especially that my husband had to stay behind for work, everything worked out in the end and he is now home with us.

I can say that moving to the province was one of the best things we’ve done for our family.

I hope these pointers helps.

All the best!