Motherhood during a pandemic – They say, what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger, but I was so darn sure three months ago that if the coronavirus does not get to me, the stress definitely will.
Sure, we’ve read it in books, we’ve seen it in the movies, but I’m sure that many can relate when I say, I never thought something like this would ever happen in our lifetime.
But it did. And boy, do I have a story to tell my grandchildren in the future.
News started to overcrowd my Facebook feed, it was the only thing being talked about on TV and the radio, and definitely the hottest topic among the neighborhood clan of mothers.
And I have to admit, it triggered an unexplainable fear in my heart, but a mother tries to brush it off because that’s what we do. We are supermoms, and can do anything and everything within our power to protect our children.
Until you realize you have very little control over the bigger things in life.
And that’s when the paranoia sets in.
I found myself crying into my coffee mug the morning they imposed the enhanced community quarantine in our city. I still remember the fear, and each time I think about it, my heart feels like it’s going to explode, and my tears well up.
Nothing brings a mother to her knees more than the uncertainty of her children’s well being.
It was hard to focus on anything else other than the half-empty pantry, my son’s maintenance medicines, the almost empty freezer. The fact the we live in a remote area with no access to public nor private transport under ECQ did not do anything to appease my hyperactive imagination.
And I thought…
We are in in deep shiz.
But you know what? This pandemic taught me that:
–Whenever you feel like the world around you is going crazy, focus on the basic unit of society- your family.
–And to hold on to Faith…
I have learned to accept and most of all, adjust (but not without flaw!) to what I can and cannot control. The things I cannot control, I lift them up to Him.
My marriage when it was at a fray? I lifted it up to Him. Losing my mom to cancer? I surrendered it all up to Him. Becoming a person with disability? I wholly and humbly knelt down in surrender.
A pandemic? I wave the white flag up to the sky.
But I have to be honest though, it initially brought my anxiety level through the roof. Not knowing what the future holds makes my ears ring and my brain short circuits.
For a moment I forgot that I have a mighty God. For a control freak like me, uncertainty can make you feel like it’s the end of the world. But having Faith and knowing we aren’t alone in this, calms my heart.
I’d like to think that the pandemic made me a more attentive mom.
It made me appreciate my family more.
It made me realize that I am blessed with relatives who proactively checks on us and sends us provisions.
And it made me appreciate technology all the more.
Lastly, it makes me excited about the future.
I can already see the day when I run into my husband’s arms when he finally gets to come home from Cebu.
The many things we will do and the places we will visit as a family.
The day we get to hug and kiss our family and friends without worry of spreading or contracting the virus.
Sure, we don’t know exactly when that’s going to be.
But when it does, I just know that the wait will be worth it.
For now, we sit still and understand that God’s hand is still at work.
And that all will be well soon.
If you are a fellow mother reading this, with HIM, we got this.
*This story is an entry to ComCo Southeast Asia’s “Write to Ignite Blogging Project”. The initiative is a response to the need of our times, as every story comes a long way during this period of crisis. Igniting and championing the human spirit, “Write to Ignite Blog Project” aims to pull and collate powerful stories from the Philippine blogging communities to inspire the nation to rise and move forward amidst the difficult situation. This project is made possible by ComCo Southeast Asia, co-presented by Eastern Communications and sponsored by Electrolux, Jobstreet and Teleperformance.
A family lifestyle blogger who left her corporate job in Cebu for a slower life in Iligan City, Philippines. Healthline – Best Mom Blogs 2017, ESCooped – Cebu’s Top Family Blogger 2016, Top 10 Blogs Voice Boks Comedy Edition, Bloggys 2015 – Finalist, Family and Relationships Category, featured on BlogHer.com and HumorWriters.org. Jhanis also works as a Freelance Writer/Content Creator and manages a small farm house decor business when she’s not taking naps.